How To Be Single After a Long Relationship: Seven Tips

So many people are seeking the answers; how to be single again after a long term relationship? Yes its possible! If dating resumes were a thing, mine would show past relationshipslasting between three months and two years. Some people may think theduration of these relationships were incredibly long. Like, ball to myboyfriends’ chain long (or is it chain to their ball?) Other people maysay, “two years? Honey, please, I’ve been in my relationship for five years, you’ve got nothing on me.” The thing is that everybody has his or her own definition of long term. Iconsidered a few of my relationships long term, but they allpiggy-backed off of one another, allowing little time for me to feelsingle in the past four years.

Now that I have had time and space away from them, I know a thing ortwo about reverting back to being single after only knowing how to be in a relationship.

You Can Be Sad (Just Not Forever)

You can’t go back to basics without a little bit of a grievingperiod. Give yourself time to lament on what was lost, but be assuredthat you will have so much more to gain in your newly single status. Itmakes perfect sense that you will be sad about losing something that was such a constant in your life, but you will come to realize that a bigpat of your sadness is due to the loss of normalcy.

The Worst Part is How Foreign Being Single Will Feel (But This Won’t Last Forever)

The hardest part about being single after being in a long-termrelationship is that you will feel, for lack of a better word, weird.You had grown accustomed to being somebody’s somebody and now that youare no longer that to him or her, you don’t really know how to function. The familiarity of the relationship is what you will miss the most,seeing as your ex was a regular part of your routine for the past Xmonths or years. The way to fix this distaste for your new routine is to simply open your mind to the adjustment of being single again. Thattakes me to the next thing about reverting to being single… new habits.

How To Be Single After a Long Relationship

You don’t need anyone to love you for you to love yourself

Loving yourself comes from you, not from someone else. The people you attractwhen you don’t love yourself most likely won’t love the real you— because you don’t love the real you. When you don’t love yourself, you hide what’s inside. Relationships formed while you’re hiding your true self will be based on a lie. Real love is based on the truth. 

People love you because they want to love you

You can’t force someone to love you the way you wish to be loved. You’reworth love that comes naturally, not love that’s tarnished by force.People are allowed to choose how and if they’ll love you, and it hasnothing to do with you. When you force someone to love you, you’resubconsciously telling yourself that you don’t deserve to be loved. Oneday someone will come along who won’t have to be reminded to call youback, who will want to buy you flowers, and who will always find a wayfor you to be in his or her life.

Third Week’s a Charm

They say that it takes about 21 days to form a new habit…. So on thebright side of things, three weeks will seem like nothing compared tohow long you were in your old relationship habits, so getting back tobeing single will not take too long. The only way you can completelysucceed at adjusting to this new habit of being single is if youpersevere. Don’t spend every night at home crying in your sweatpants.Get together with your girlfriends, hit the gym and do other things that are focused on you having fun and feeling good about your single self.

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want from a relationship

If your partner doesn’t want the same from it as you, you can and willfind someone who does. Getting what you want from a relationship isn’tasking for a lot. Asking someone to take the time to respond to you, tobe there for you or to be loved by someone isn’t asking for too much.All of us deserve to be treated with respect.

Embrace Your Independence

While you may be sad that you no longer have that constant partner to do things with, to text and to simply think about, now you get toreplace all of that couple-time with you-time. You get to think aboutyourself, you get to take yourself places you’ve always wanted to go and you get to reintroduce yourself to the most important person in yourlife – you. Take pride in the fact that you are single by doing thingson your own. Take yourself out to lunch without any distractions.Embrace your solitude, and take note that it is not the worst feeling in the word. Enjoying all the new found time you have for yourself isgoing to make the coping process a lot more entertaining and manageable. It may even encourage you to put yourself out there once you are readyto start dating again.

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